Tuesday, September 25, 2007

Headlines from Childhood by Ethan Gilsdorf



Drinking, smoking mom gives birth to “normal” boy
Clueless toddler makes “hide the salami” joke
Lamby found under snow bank in May: The shocking details

Neighborhood boys crucify sister to pine tree
Living room study: Dog farts cause drowsiness
How to eat zucchini: “Glass of milk” secret revealed

Walk to corner store: Not exactly “miles”
After divorce, sad family eats omelets, yogurt shakes for dinner
Recovering Mom tosses buttered roll

Julia Child ignores squabble in New Hampshire home
Boy catches falling television: “Wheel of Fortune” saved
Area teen speechless after fourth orgasm

Mr. Bonnacorsi: Does he really hump lab station?
Gov’t report: 1,023 PB&Js eaten since 8th grade
In historic agreement, woman lets ex- inside house

“Left on red” dooms driving test
Gymnastics, jazz dance still considered “gay”
Beer, Playboy gift from aunt: Sending wrong message?

D&D, A/V club: “chick magnets”?
College-bound senior technically still virgin
High school musical proves even geeks can sing



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Ethan Gilsdorf lives in the Boston area, where he makes his living as a freelance journalist, poet, critic, editor and teacher. His articles, poems and essays have been published in dozens of magazines, newspapers, guidebooks and literary journals world-wide. The winner of the Hobblestock Peace Poetry Competition and the Esmé Bradberry Contemporary Poets Prize, Gilsdorf has been awarded grants from the Vermont Arts Council and Somerville Arts Council/Mass Cultural Council, and residencies at the Millay Colony, the Hall Farm Center for Arts and Education, the New Pacific Studio and Vermont Studio Center.

His poems can be seen in Poetry, The Southern Review, The North American Review, The Massachusetts Review, and Poetry London, plus anthologies like Future Welcome; Short Fuse: The Global Anthology of New Fusion Poetry; Outsiders: Poems About Rebels, Exiles and Renegades; Radio Waves: Poems Celebrating the Wireless; and In the Criminal's Cabinet. Gilsdorf was also the Paris regional coordinator for Poets For Peace/United Poets Coalition. He is co-founder of Grub Street's Young Adult Writers Program (YAWP) in Boston. For more information visit his web site.

This is part of a series of poems from invited poets. Previous contributors were Luke Heeley, Joe Ross, George Szirtes, Elizabeth Spackman, Ivy Alvarez, Rufo Quintavalle, Todd Swift, Michelle Noteboom and Beverley Bie Brahic. Illustration by Jonathan Wonham.

2 comments:

Bee said...

Love it. Lots of gems in that one.

Anonymous said...

Fascinating. Poetry via 'Onion' headlines!