Where do you draw the line...

Slugs are gaining access to your kitchen and dying in remote corners behind the refrigerator. Please complete form A6 for further details. If you work for a government agency don't bother to apply.

A new shelf is required above the existing shelf. Further information is available online. Please enter the six digit security code. Remember to have your passport number ready.

How many people are residing in your property AND are also eligible to vote? If you have slugs resident in your property, please check the online documentation and have the appropriate identification guide ready. Remember, if your slugs are over 16 years of age, they may be able to vote.

You have two google accounts with the same contact telephone number. Do you want to keep your virtual life or your real life? Remember to have your passport number ready.

In your virtual life, someone lands in your front yard in the form of a spider. It doesn't bother you more than a slug entering your real life kitchen. However, it crosses your mind that this spider may have the right to vote.

What do you mean you don't have a virtual life?

You have a long discussion with the post-office assistant about your difficulties with e-bay. It's strange to have a conversation with a stranger that seems so real.

You toggle between tax, virtual life and e-bay, mixing in DVLA and e-mails for variety. It seems like a recipe. Maybe it's a recipe for disaster.

Please spare a few minutes of your time to fill in the following questionnaire. If online voting was provided in the next general election, would you be more likely to vote if: (a) the government told you it was more secure; (b) a cyber-security expert told you it was more secure, or (c) a slug told you it was more secure. Answers on a postcard please.

Are you registered to vote in your virtual world? If not, please refer to the online wiki.

Googling for slug avatars will help you to become one. Googling to become anything else will most likely not work. Why do you want to become a slug anyway?

One last word about the refrigerator. It's working. The news is not all bad.